This month is National Stalking Awareness Month. This is an extremely important subject, and I really hope all of you who read this take it seriously tell others about how they can protect themselves.

Why is this important to me? I hate to say it, but I am a stalker magnet. Those who know me extremely well know of this fact, and every occurence is serious and always has some sort of negative impact in my life. I also want to state that there is not “typical” stalker. Usually you can’t tell if someone is capable of stalking until it happens.

The scary thing now is that anyone can stalk you. People you may never have met in person or ever spoken to can find you with the internet… and my friends who read this, you know who I’m referencing. Even if you don’t know these people personally, if they can stalk you, they can very well hurt you too… whether it is physical or emotional. For more information about stalking and what actions you can do about it, please check out the Stalking Resource Center for more information regarding stalking.

The story below is something that I haven’t really told too many people. It’s taken me many years of counseling to really be able to talk about it the way I can now.. but I honestly urge anyone who is going through or who has gone through what I have to seek help. You’re not alone, and you should never have to be afraid to live your life. I wished I was stronger then to make that right decision.. and I can only hope this will inspire others.

The first occurrence started when I was 13. I was in junior high, and I had the biggest crush on my neighbor, Bobby J. He was this really tall for his age. He was about 5’9″.. but then again his father was 6’4″ and his brother was 6’6″. As with schoolyard love, it was all very innocent. He went to a different junior high, but we would walk to school together every morning, and the second we hit the main road, I went right, he would go left, and after school, we met at the same corner only to walk home together.

Everything was fine until the summer, and we were both getting ready for the next chapter in our life, high school. We both were invited to a pool party, and that was the very first time he, and most of my friends, ever saw me outside of a baggy t-shirt and jeans. I was 4’8, 95 pounds and a C cup chest (something I was extremely uncomfortable about). At this party, all my guy friends started to treat me different, and the male acquaintances I made paid a lot of attention to me. Bobby took notice of all this attention, and it was the beginning of a really scary chapter in my life.

The school boundaries were really weird in our neighborhood. Although I lived 3 streets down from him, we couldn’t attend the same high school either. Bobby was not happy about that at all. He was so worried that I would start talking to other boys. Whenever we would go to the movies or go to the park, if I even glanced in passing at another boy, it would create an argument. We would fight about this so much, that I went home everyday crying.

By the time mid-August rolled around, I had enough and wanted to get out. I walked to his house to break up with him and when I broke the news to him he threw a mug at my head. I ran home and got my father involved. Dad told his family that he was to stay away from me… and it only got worse from there.

He would write me letters everyday and drop them into my mailbox. He would walk up to the side of the houes and peer through my window and tap it to get my attention. I told myself, if I ignore him, he will go away. He didn’t. The more I ignored him the more gutsy he became. One weekend, I was out with my friends, and my father walked into my bedroom to get my laundry, and he found Bobby sitting in my closet. Bobby took the screen off my window and climbed into my room. After that day, my dad had bars on my window. Then there was peace!

I thought it was over. He didn’t bother me for a few more weeks. Then, right before Thanksgiving, I was walking home from school, and all of the sudden I felt a massive blow to my back. Bobby followed me home and when he got close enough, he used his backpack filled with books and swung it at me. I was afraid for my life, left all of my things on the ground, and ran. He caught up to me and grabbed my wrists and started shaking me, and yelling, “Why I am not good enough for you!? Why won’t you be my girlfriend!?” He was grabbing me so hard I had bruises on both of my wrists. I was so afraid, I pleaded for him to let me go, and he didn’t. I told him I would do anything for him if he would just let me go… and this would be the most retarded decision I would have ever made.. his request was that I be his girlfriend.

I never told my dad what happened, and everyone was very disappointed in me for dating him again. For the next year, Bobby followed me everywhere. Called me everyday… he even saved up money and bought me a pager. He would page me, 0277 1773 17044 (pager-speak ‘call me now’).. and if I didn’t call within the hour, I could expect him sitting on my porch looking for me. Because of the way I already dressed, baggy big clothing, Bobby took advantage of this and knew if he was going to hit me, it would have to be on my chest, back or shoulders.

I endured all of this because I was afraid of him. It wasn’t until my gym teacher saw the bruises on my body when I was changing that my dad found out and pressed charges on Bobby. We put a restraining order on him, and we moved to a different city.

Everything was fine for the next couple of months, but he managed to find my new address, my new phone number, my new friends… and it was just this on going nightmare of him threatening me.. and we would move again, change all of our numbers.. and he was always there. He would get locked up, his parents would post bail, and it would start all over. This went on until I was 18!

The last time I ever saw Bobby was when I was working at Wells Fargo, and I was waiting for my ride to pick me up. This Wells Fargo was very close to my old neighborhood, and I was sitting on the grassy area infront of the branch… and I see this really tall guy walking towards me in the distance. I hadn’t had any issues with Bobby in over 6 months, and I thought I was just being paranoid. But the closer he got, the more afraid I became, and I ran into the Blockbuster next door, and called the police. This was the first time he stalked me since we both turned 18 – and this time when he was arrested, he stayed locked up. I got the same judge from 2 of my other hearings from when I was younger, and he put him away for a very long time. Bobby is still currently serving time in jail for felony stalking and attempted assault.