So, in church we covered Exodus 13-20… where Moses receives the 10 commandments… It’s kind of nice to take in the bible for what it has to offer away from what the media portrays and really learn something from it.

Anyhow, the commandments are mentioned again after the birth of Jesus in the book of Matthew. I was reading Matthew 5:27-28 and it says,

You have heard the it was said, “Do not commit adultery.” But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

I wish more people realized the act of cheating is more than a physical act. So many of my exes honestly believe that unless their penis enters some sort of orifice in another female’s body, it’s not cheating. The intent to lust after another woman or even emotionally lust after another woman is cheating… For example, Andwele (the d-bag) on a very regular basis would message and call his ex girlfriend to tell her how much he loved her. Through explicit messages about how he doesn’t want other men fucking her… the list goes on. Although she was miles and miles away, she enabled his behavior, just like everyone else in his life, and I’m sure apart of her really wants to reconcile with him…

Honestly, it was a lot more painful to be in a relationship with a person who could not commit to me emotionally. I could look past physical cheating… but to give your heart and soul to another person far worse than any act of fucking. Physical attraction comes and goes, it can be worked on, etc… but once you give your love to someone and they damage your heart… how can you possibly look back?

Reading those lines really made wonder, how often we all committed adultery to a loved one? How often do we lust after people we aren’t supposed to? How often do we hold little disregard for respect for the people who care for us?

One of my resolutions was to start attending and eventually becoming a member of a church. To many of my friend’s surprise, I’m actually quite spiritual. I do believe in God and Jesus, and I do pray every day. I don’t think I could have made it this far in life without His help.

I started attending Cornerstone Christian Fellowship last week to kick off their 2 year adventure of reviewing the Bible from beginning to end called, The Bible: Exploring God’s Glorious Mess.

I chose this church because:

1. I’ve attended before. It’s small & tight congregation.
2. It’s modern and relaxed.
3. Lots of ministries and volunteer opportunities.
4. The Bible exploration! I want to learn what it’s all about!

To really take in what I’ve been learning, I will blog last week’s sermon notes. Although I believe in God and  Jesus… I really have very little understanding of the Bible and it’s teachings. I tend to be very scientific and logical. I like KNOWING how things work, exist, etc.

Last Sunday, (1/3/10) Past Karl went over Genesis 1:1. The book of Genesis was written by Moses, and it begins with In the beginning, God… He explains that God never explains his existance or how He came about. This always troubled me. I would always ask why? Then, Pastor Karl simply stated, to understand the Bible, the Christian faith, you just have to believe that He exists without question. This creates the basis of faith. Right then, I had an Aha! moment.

The Bible is God’s story. We need to read God’s story, God’s way. God is the hero of every story in the Bible, and the Bible ONLY makes sense with God as its focus… We will not require naturalistic explanations for the miracles of the Bible.

He then made a great example. The Bible has some folklore-ish characters, talking animals and plants… being swallowed and not digested by a giant fish… all of this is hard to grasp unless you are willing to accept that there is a greater being out there that can make these things happen.

Then, Pastor Karl explains that many of us read the Bible out of context. Instead of really trying to understand God’s message, we try to understand the Bible as to how it selfishly applies to ourselves first. To really understand the bible and it’s teachings we must understand that:

We are not biblical literalists. We are biblical contextualists. The reason it is hard for many of us to  understand or contextualize the Bible is because

1. We never read the Bible from the beginning to the end in one sitting. We read the Bible in sections or pieces… never really molding the whole concept together.
2. We want to look for personal application first and context second.
3. We are taught to use the Bible as personal application instead of its true teachings.
4. The Bible is an on-going spiritual battle that takes time and effort to understand.

When reading the Bible, ask What was the intended message by the original author, as drawn from the context of the story.”

After the sermon, it was really easy for me to realize where I was going wrong with all of this. I’m going to start over, pray for better understanding of Bible, and really take it all in.

Happy Thursday everyone!

A few weeks ago, I found my Saint Pio prayer booklet, rosary & relic and decided to keep those things very close to me at all times. I’m a pretty spiritual person, and I started praying on a more frequent basis. Not the typical, get on your knees and bow your head kinda praying… but just silent conversations with God & Saint Pio while I work, before I go out, etc. And I must say, things have been changing really for the better since I’ve been having these dialogues. Right now, despite certain things that make me worry…. I’m quite happy. I feel like I can take on the world!

I’m going to take the advice of Pio and just pray, hope & don’t worry.

Pray, hope and don’t worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer.

- Saint Pio of Pietrelcina

It’s crazy how much has changed in the past decade for me spiritually. I was rebellious and an atheist, although I was brought up extremely religious. As time past, I became agnostic… and right now, at this point in life, I am finally, truly accepting God and his words. This decision is the best decision I’ve ever made, and I can feel my spirit renewed.

Last week, I bought a study bible, and I admit, I’ve been going through some tough times… and the crazy thing is that I can pick up my Bible, has a problem weighing on my heart, open a random section and find my answer.

I can feel wonderful things happening to me… and Marilyn Monroe said it besy, “Sometimes good things fall apart for even better things to fall together.”