It was a bust again. No present, no I love you, just a mean jackass.

Eff Dwele.

Loser in weight loss!
Weighed myself today, 148.8 lbs. It’s insane to think about 2 years ago, I was 170ish. I’m inbetween dress sizes right now (too big for a 10, too small for a 12) but I’m really happy with my progress. It’s even crazier to think, when I first met Sean (the ex)… I was 125 pounds. All that eating we did totally took a number on the both of us! Haha, I don’t regret it at all. I can’t even tell you all the ridiculous, food related stories we have. I guess we were really hedonists. Hahahaha.

My weight loss has steadied and for the first time ever, I actually know why!

a) I haven’t been exercising
b) I haven’t been calorie counting (still making healthy choices though)

I’m eating all the food I love, so I really can’t complain. I will lose more weight, but right now I’m okay with what I’m doing.

I just needed a break from planning my meals. I figure, this would be create a good shock to my body and I won’t plateau.

Most people I know stick to their diets until they reach their goal, and the second they start eating “normally” it all goes to hell. That WILL NOT happen to me. I won’t let it.

I wish there was another term for losing weight besides dieting. Diet is a 4 letter word. No one should ever have it in their vocabulary!

I keep coming across all this “buzz” about the MTV hit, Jersey Shore. It’s all over the mags, entertainment blogs… all my coworkers are talking about it. So recently, I’ve forced myself to finally catch a glimpse of this show. My first reaction, “This show is absolute trash!”

I don’t have any patience with people acting stupid. The entire cast is in my age group, yet their vocabulary and mental intellect barely surpasses that of a 12 year-old. The drama and the things they deem important, all so superficial and they all lack substance. There is nothing “real” or natural about any of them. I probably watched 10 minutes of the show… and if I could demand for those 10 minutes, I would.

I am thankful that this show is a great reminder of why I don’t really watch TV anymore. I’d rather be a nerd and stick to reading.

Avon ANEW REJUVENATE Revitalizing 2-in-1 Gel Cleanser —

This year is my year of being frugal and fabulous. My friends all use Avon products because they are all reasonably priced and they swear the quality is just as good as many of the products I would purchase at the department store. Since they all love Avon, I took advantage of becoming their new Avon lady

I bought the Avon ANEW Rejuvenate Starter kit for $15 dollars. This set came with the ANEW Rejuvenate revitalizing 2-1 gel cleanser, Rejuvenate 24 hour eye cream., Revitalizing day and night cream.

I through the cleanser into my gym bag and after a very grueling cardio session, I grabbed the cleanser to wash my face. After I work out, my skin is atrocious. My pores flare up and my skin is red and angry!

When you lift the cap, you immediately notice a nice sweet fragrance. It’s not overpowering at all. The gel isn’t sticky or tacky like some cleansers that I’ve tried. I started to wash my face, and my face felt so refreshed without the peppermint feeling like in many other cleansers that I’ve tried. After I rinse my face, there wasn’t a residue left on my face and the nice fragrance still lingered. I touched my face and immediately noticed how soft and more resilient my skin felt. I’ve never experienced this with any cleanser I’ve ever tried! My pores mellowed out considerably, I would even say they looked a lot smaller than pre-workout.

Pros:

Pleasant, mellow scent – cheap! $12.00 a bottle (cheaper if you buy it from my friend) – leaves skin feeling smooth, clean and firm.

Cons:

Some people may not like scented facial cleanser

As many of you already know, I’ve been on this weightloss journey. So far, I have been dropping the pounds.

The issue – a super tight budget and a lack of clothes that fit well…  the solution… for the first time in the 24 years of my life… buying a belt. I have a weird OCD issue with belts. I don’t like how they feel on my body. No real logical reason about why I don’t like them.

After reading at article from Style on a String, I am going to try to incorporate belts into my wardrobe as a temporary solution to my lack of well-fitted clothes.

Let’s see how all of that pans out.

I just think is darling and functional!

It’s $75 + shipping – It’s on my list of things I’d like to buy. I will budget this in coming these following months. I love functional things! I’m going to get it in Crimson Red. How sexy!

Special Features:

• Tons of storage pockets and compartments
• Lower main compartment for cosmetic storage
• Detachable mirror
• Plastic coated bottom with metal feet
• Ventilated zip pocket compartment in back
• Perfect for shoes or soiled clothing
• ID card for identification
• Interior bottle holder and cargo pocket
• D-ring for your keys, pen holders & zip pocket
• Material specially treated with water-repellent finish

Puddle Jumper by Lug

On New Year’s I made the decision to start up on Paxil again. It’s been two weeks, and I noticed a considerable difference on how I react to things and how I feel. I’m happier, more optimistic and I am capable to thinking clearly.

It was silly of me to go off of it when I did. I admit, I was afraid that this little white, oblong pill would control my life. But now that I can handle my issues non-emotionally, I can take control of my life then get off it once everything gets sorted out.

It’s been a great relief.

WOOOOOOOT!

Today, I’m wearing a pair of Express slacks I have not been able to fit into in over 4 years. The best part, no muffin top, and I can breathe, bend and all that. That’s $80 saved because they are practically new!!

I’m one step closer.

I’m so glad I didn’t throw out my “skinny” clothes. Let’s see how soon I will get into those jeans I love next.

One of my resolutions was to start attending and eventually becoming a member of a church. To many of my friend’s surprise, I’m actually quite spiritual. I do believe in God and Jesus, and I do pray every day. I don’t think I could have made it this far in life without His help.

I started attending Cornerstone Christian Fellowship last week to kick off their 2 year adventure of reviewing the Bible from beginning to end called, The Bible: Exploring God’s Glorious Mess.

I chose this church because:

1. I’ve attended before. It’s small & tight congregation.
2. It’s modern and relaxed.
3. Lots of ministries and volunteer opportunities.
4. The Bible exploration! I want to learn what it’s all about!

To really take in what I’ve been learning, I will blog last week’s sermon notes. Although I believe in God and  Jesus… I really have very little understanding of the Bible and it’s teachings. I tend to be very scientific and logical. I like KNOWING how things work, exist, etc.

Last Sunday, (1/3/10) Past Karl went over Genesis 1:1. The book of Genesis was written by Moses, and it begins with In the beginning, God… He explains that God never explains his existance or how He came about. This always troubled me. I would always ask why? Then, Pastor Karl simply stated, to understand the Bible, the Christian faith, you just have to believe that He exists without question. This creates the basis of faith. Right then, I had an Aha! moment.

The Bible is God’s story. We need to read God’s story, God’s way. God is the hero of every story in the Bible, and the Bible ONLY makes sense with God as its focus… We will not require naturalistic explanations for the miracles of the Bible.

He then made a great example. The Bible has some folklore-ish characters, talking animals and plants… being swallowed and not digested by a giant fish… all of this is hard to grasp unless you are willing to accept that there is a greater being out there that can make these things happen.

Then, Pastor Karl explains that many of us read the Bible out of context. Instead of really trying to understand God’s message, we try to understand the Bible as to how it selfishly applies to ourselves first. To really understand the bible and it’s teachings we must understand that:

We are not biblical literalists. We are biblical contextualists. The reason it is hard for many of us to  understand or contextualize the Bible is because

1. We never read the Bible from the beginning to the end in one sitting. We read the Bible in sections or pieces… never really molding the whole concept together.
2. We want to look for personal application first and context second.
3. We are taught to use the Bible as personal application instead of its true teachings.
4. The Bible is an on-going spiritual battle that takes time and effort to understand.

When reading the Bible, ask What was the intended message by the original author, as drawn from the context of the story.”

After the sermon, it was really easy for me to realize where I was going wrong with all of this. I’m going to start over, pray for better understanding of Bible, and really take it all in.

Happy Thursday everyone!